Tag: painsomnia

Another night of being up all night in pain and other things

by Midnight Demon, posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders

I drank some wine before bed last night to try and relax a bit. All it did was give me heartburn. The meds were making me sleepy with the addition of alcohol, but the pain didn’t care. I wasn’t going to sleep. My damn foot and ankle kept me up till around 5 am, might have been after as I wrote an email around 5. Then about 3 hours later, my phone kept going off but I was too groggy to figure out why. It went off again around 10 and it was the med app alarm. I had to take my pain meds. I shut it off and promptly went back to sleep. I didn’t get up again until around 1400 to use the bathroom. I went back to bed for another hour or so. Then hunger took over. I got up, took my pain meds, and then made a graham cracker cereal. I knew my mother would be asking me what I wanted for dinner but as I made my way back up to my room, she was lying down, sleeping. Oh well.

I played on my phone and checked my messages. Zipcar responded to my request for name change by telling me what to do to do so. I just did it before writing this blog. I sent them a copy of my legal document and my license. That should be good enough. Monday I will go to the Sprint store to change my name. I think I will do it either before I head into Boston or after my therapist’s appt. I still need to go to the bank near me to change my name for my lousy retirement plan. There is less than $200 in it because I no longer work and have been bad about saving money to put into it. Then, I think I will be done with name changing things.

I’m going to try and watch the OSU game. I can’t believe it’s the last game of the season. There might be a game come New Year’s, based on this game but that is it. They had a good season, my Bucks. Beating Xichigan last week was awesome! I don’t know if I will be able to watch the whole game like I did last week. I am not hurting big time but I am tired. I also had to wash dishes after supper because my mother was hurting. She had made fried mushrooms and Rapi, it’s really bitter. It’s from the spinach family, I think. I don’t like either. I made an egg McMuffin. That seems to be my kick the last few days. Then I will move on to something else. I wanted to make bacon today but didn’t get up early enough to do so. Be nice to have bacon and egg Mcmuffin.

My psych just emailed me. I forgot I had emailed her some time during my sleepless night. She needed to change the appt time, which I had a feeling she would do. I don’t mind as I was dreading the back to back appts between seeing her and my therapist. Now I have a few hours to rest in between. Does suck though because that means I need to be up earlier. Hope the buses are on time.

Painsomnia 

by Midnight Demon, posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, Chronic pain, chronic physical pain, depression, mental disorders, mental illness, mood disorders, physical pain

I was pushing for 0200 to go to sleep but i had to pee and then brush my teeth as my mouth felt yucky.  I haven’t brushed in two days so i really needed to get rid of the yuck.

Pain has been keeping me up. Started with my metatarsals and then moved up to my ankle bones. I took extra meds and 1200 mg of neurontin. It hurt so bad, not as bad as it was last week. I figure I would write as sleep isn’t coming just yet. I am really tired. I’ve been playing with my phone. Making grocery lists for tomorrow, making a coping plan on one of the apps I downloaded. Dr. Jobes is supposed to come out with a mobile app. I can’t wait.

I’ve been fighting the suicidal urges. I can’t help it as I feel so rotten and hopeless. Pain is really bringing me down. I’ve posted my distress on Twitter but no one has said anything. 

I printed put the RMV forms for name change and stuff. I don’t need a letter from my doc to give to them. I do need to being some bank statements and stuff to prove who I am. Which reminds me, I nees to call the cable company to change my name. I hope I can do it online. To change everything on my license will be about $75, I think. 

I still need to call HR at my work place to find put when I will be getting an updated insurance card. I just need the one for prescriptions so i can change it at the pharmacy. So many things needing changing.

Dammit, my bone pain in my foot is back. I’m not going to sleep tonight. Ao much for wanting to do one errand later today. Maybe I will in the late afternoon. 

I am ordering some stuff from Amazon. I saw a body pillow that converts into a nice back pillow and arm rest so you can read. It is $60. Hope it is worth it. I’ll get it next week, hopefully. My online grocery order keeps going up and down. I order stuff then take it off. I really want to make a spinach, egg, cheese, and bacon sandwich or burrito. I still haven’t made a burrito since I’ve been home from the hospital. I jist have been in too much pain to cook.

Painsomnia is the worst. My foot feels so awful right now and i can’t take anymore meds. I am going to try and sleep now and see if I will be successful. Wish me luck!

Red Sox win game 3

by Midnight Demon, posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders

Red Sox win game 3!!

I listened to the Sox game today. It was win or go home. Things were bad in the first inning. They were down by 3 runs. Then they scored 1 run to make it 3-1. I got tired of listening to one of the announcers on the radio. He annoys me as much as his Twitter rants. My sister said that she made American Chop Suey so I went downstairs to have some. My mother was making BBQ spareribs so I didn’t want to eat that much. But I did. Then I had some of the ribs. The game was 4-3, with the Sox leading by 1 run. I’m not sure what happened next as I was cleaning up the kitchen and then went to my room to hear the rest of the game. Score went to 7-3 and then a Houston outfielder dropped the ball into the stands, making it a 3 run homerun, bringing the score to 10-3! I was so happy. We play tomorrow but the time depends on the stupid Skanks. They are facing elimination today, too. I hope they lose so we get the evening spot, course, I always hope they lose.

Other than stuffing my stomach, I didn’t do much today. I slept for about 6 hours. I finally had to go pee. Last night I had urine retention really bad. I felt like I had to go but nothing was coming out. I was talking to a friend of mine till around 5 am. I was in pain and it showed no signs of going away or backing down. I had moved my ankle a few times and that shot up my pain higher than it was. I was maxed on meds and I think between the new anti-psychotic and my pain meds, it just shut my bladder off. I emailed my psych about it but got no response.

I was having a somewhat okay day until I went downstairs and took 2 steps away from the stair case. My ankle flared up again and it’s been hurting me ever since. I haven’t taken my strong pain pill, yet. I might take it before bed.

My sister had posted on Facebook that she made some chili. I texted her and said she better give me some. Then she said she was making me a painting. I shook my head. While I was down my other sister’s house having the chop suey, she sent this sister a pic of the painting. She didn’t know it was for me so she showed it to me. I laughed because the text said not to show me. OOPS. It was a nice pic of a giraffe eating some leaves. My sister is a good artist, always has been. I can’t draw for shit. She brought over the painting when she brought me some chili. I’ll have it tomorrow for lunch.

Last night I was putting together the paperwork for my name change. I am going to go ahead with it on Tuesday. I set up a time for 9. I just hope I can get up early. Waking up before 8 hasn’t been good for me lately. I hope I sleep tonight.

no coffee for me!

by Midnight Demon, posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders

No coffee for me!

I woke up around 1400. I didn’t get to sleep until 0700. It was a long night. I wanted coffee badly but my half and half went bad. I was too tired to go to the store to buy more and then make another cup. So I am not having coffee and I am very unhappy about it. I’ll go tomorrow to buy more.

I had a sound sleep though for some reason, my head likes to find the space between my two pillows, causing my neck to ache. I probably would still be sleeping if my bladder didn’t wake me up. I am glad I put my phone on “do not disturb” as I had a few messages and one missed phone call. I still am sleepy. I just had lunch and breakfast. I was hungry. I made a turkey, cheese, and cranberry sauce roll up and then had a couple of boiled eggs with toast.

I’ve only been awake for a few hours and already my ankle is killing me from making myself something to eat. FUCK. I took pain meds when I woke up as my mouth was hurting. Now my ankle is exploding. I am going back to bed. Hope I can sleep.