Game results

My huskers suffered a hell of a game loss. Due to a player being unsportsmanlike, it cost them the game. But they came back to tie it and go to OT. That was so awesome.

My Sox also battled back in the 9th inning to win the game. It was a nail biter  because stupid Ross gave up a 2 run blast to make it a 1 run game. Luckily he was able to secure the final out and win. It was the first time all season the Sox came back to win a game after being down in the 8th inning. In the opposite, the Jays had a record of winning games when they lead in the 8th inning. Go Sox!!

OSU game I was just catching tidbits through the CFB app and twitter. But they also came back from being down 10 nothing to win the game 20-13. I would have really loved to watch that game but it was out of network in my area. I was lucky to catch the last of the Nebraska game. I didn’t think they would come back after being down 27-3.

Overall, I am proud of my teams. Can’t wait till next Saturday!

Saturday Blog 9

I watched college football for the first time this season. I didn’t think I was going to wake up early enough for it because I usually forget. Luckily, the game was on the cable network so I got to see it on my living room TV instead of the small kitchen one. It was OSU vs Navy. I had a hard time rooting for either team because both are my favorites. But in the end, I went for my most favorite team, OSU.

I forgot to take my morning meds again. It is way too late now to take them as I will be taking my night time meds in a few hours. This sucks. I also have not taken my blood pressure at all today and I am afraid to because I know it is going to be high. So I will skip that too.

After the game, I was very tired for some reason. So I took a nap before my bladder woke me up, angrily. I forgot that I drank 32 ounces of fluid before taking my nap so I was FULL. Not a good thing when you have CES. I am still wearing a pad because of my menses so if I leaked, I didn’t care.

I have to take a shower today. I am all icky and stuff. It looks like my menses are finally going away, which is a good thing because then I can restart my hormone pills. I just have to remember when I stopped the pills. This sucks that I have to stop the pill every three packs. What good is it if I do that?? Three months off is not enough time to forget the awfulness of being in the wrong body. And then have to deal with it again, three months later, just sucks.

Since I woke up this morning (around 11 or so), I have been eating constantly. I finally stopped around the time the game ended. I am now bloated. I don’t think I am going to have anything else to eat today. If I do get hungry, I will just have a bowl of cereal.

Ruby De La Rosa is pitching tonight for the Red Sox. I don’t want to even watch or hear the game. Ever since the Sox traded away three good pitchers, I stopped watching or listening to the game. I would, however, keep track on Twitter. Or if I really cared, I would go the website and check out the score. But usually they would have a lead and then blow it. Such is the story of the season. This year’s sox just cannot hold on to a lead for nothing. The only team that we seem to be able to beat are the Blue Jays. Tonight is a much more competitive team, the Tampa Bay Rays. I hate that team. So if I happen to sleep through the game, so be it.

The agitation that I was feeling yesterday is gone, thank goodness. I guess, all I needed was sleep, even if it took a few Ativan to get there. Right now I am just feeling sleepy. But it’s not even eight o’clock yet so I can’t take my meds. I mean I could, it’s not like I am on a schedule or anything like I was when I was in the hospital, but if I take them too early, the chances of me waking up in the wee hours of the morning is greater. I have done that before and I woke up at midnight or 1 am. Not good because then I have the energy of three people and I don’t know what to do with it.

I didn’t work on any writing today. I didn’t even have a cup of coffee today. I have a feeling the coffee is what is causing the jitters that I get. So as my writing award for next month, and seeing as I can’t afford Starbucks, I will try to make a Starbucks award for my writing next month. That is, if I can afford it. I am going to try and promote my book this month so I have a few dollars on the side. I sold 3 books this month. I want to try and sell 5 next month. That is going to be a huge task. It would be easier if I had a printer but I don’t. My sister does but she doesn’t have ink for it. I am screwed. But I can still hashtag away at Twitter every day a couple of times to try and sell my book. If I had the money, I would take an ad in a professional psychology journal promoting my book. I still have to mail my editor her copy of the book, which I will do on Tuesday. Monday is Labor Day so post office is closed. I am still debating if I should send my book to be reviewed by the American Association of Suicidology. I want to so bad but I don’t want to be criticized either. I have a lot of personal information. But they didn’t give me a lot of information to put in the book. “Just send two copies to this address” is all I have to go on. And I have the package all sealed up and ready to go. So if they needed me to sign the book or include my address in the book, too late for that. I just hope that I don’t have to be a current member because I let my membership expire. Dammit, the things I think of now.

My foot is killing me. The pain meds that I took earlier have had no effect on it. I am so tired of being in pain all the stinking time. I just want to chop my foot off right now. Sure it will be bloody and messy but I don’t be in pain, well not the type of pain I am experiencing right now. I think I will feel another type of pain but I am hoping that will go away with time. And if I happen to bleed out, so be it.

I am starting to get worried over a blogger friend of mine. She is having difficulty with her illness. I tried reaching out to her but got no response. She has been blogging saying that she what she is doing and I don’t like it. Even though she doesn’t know it, I think it is a form of self-harm. I just want to help her but if she doesn’t respond to me, that is kind of hard to do. I just hope she is sleeping off what she took and no harm comes to her. I will really miss her if she should die.

A baseball movie

Since the end of the Post Season baseball games, there were commercials for the movie “trouble with the curve”. Tonight I finally saw the movie and loved it. Baseball season might not be starting just yet so I had some fun with this movie. I had no idea what went into scouting reports until I saw this film. And the movie is right, you can’t know something with statistics that you can’t see with your eyes. In his book, The Red Sox Years, Francona talked about this a little bit. He was given daily reports on scouting and pitching and upper management wanted the say in the lineup because this batter was better with the opposing team’s pitcher. Francona never really used these reports to influence his lineup. A player was going to play because he had a gut feeling and usually he was right. Statistics can only be on one playing field, paper. You can’t know what the player is going to do in rainy weather versus sunny weather, hot weather versus cold, etc. I think a lot of the games that have won the world series have become champions because they did not get rest in between series. My theory is that if a team cools off, say has a few days rest in between, that is bad and they are going to be swept. I have never seen a world series go to game 5 in the past 3 years. But I could be wrong. I know for the past 2 have been swept in 4 games, both to the National league. It has been a long time since the American league has won a World series game. 

No Spoons Today

Started the day with no spoons. I was up most of the night in pain. I woke up very fatigued so decided to take a shower. The shower exhausted me to no end. I just wanted to go back to bed but I so wanted a coffee at Starbucks. I timed the shower and the bus schedule correctly. By the time I was done with my shower and got dressed, the bus was approaching. I got to Starbucks and I didn’t think I was going to have a seat but a lady left just after I ordered my coffee and I swooped in to take her seat. I got the Panama coffee today and it was good. I waited patiently for so long that I got a free drink because the barista forgot my drink after the long line of people. I thought about getting another coffee but I didn’t want to be up all night again. I worked, or tried to, on this paper that is going to be the death of me. I am trying to write this comparison paper and one of the assessments that I am comparing is confusing the hell out of me. I might nix it because it is so complicated. I seriously doubt that this tool will ever be used clinically because of its complication and averages and factors! See, even you are confused as I am writing this…
After racking my brain for an hour, I decided to get some cheeseburgers at McDonalds. And to search for Twinkies. My search didn’t yield any. I hope that I can buy them at Stop and Shop before they sell out. I can’t believe a snack that has been around for more than fifty years is out of business. I still think it’s all because of bad management of funds rather than production. But then, what do I know about the economy? Ziltch!

I have been listening to Taylor Swift for the past hour because Voldemort made a reference to her and Snape. He posted a pic of her in the “Story of Us” and it was pretty funny. He called the post Haylor. I am still cracking up over it. I know he has been the center of my delusions but he is slowly fading, even with the text tweeting. I just find some of it hilarious. Course the text about robbing Twihards houses was a little hard for me but some will find it funny. I seriously thought of just robbing my sister’s house because she was going to the movies. Her cookies would be mine for me to take, hehehe and Halloween candy! LOL I think the vicoden is making me feel goofy right now. I’m still in mega pain but as I tell everyone, if my sense of humor goes, commit me because something serious is wrong with me.

OSU is tied right now. I couldn’t sit watching the game because my ankle pain flared up. I am glad because I would have been swearing at the TV. I have planted seeds to my sisters that I want an OSU and NE hoodies for Christmas. I hope I get them, but if not I will just have to get them myself! I had my cousin get me a Georgetown hoodie. Love it so much. I am a big college football fan. My interest stems from having to watch it every Sat for two and a half months while I was inpatient for depression. That was eighteen years ago. I did not want to make it to see my nineteenth birthday and was determined not to But my plans were foiled after I overdosed. That landed me in the hospital from the beginning of November to the middle of January. I never have spent the holidays in the hospital before. Not a pleasant experience, especially being on a psychiatric unit. But once my birthday had passed, things got easier. I wanted to live and go to college. I applied and got into a medical assisting program. Course today I wish I had decided to go to a university rather than a two year school, but live and learn I guess. I am still only 9 courses short of my bachelor’s degree.