Category: sports

just about eight weeks post op hysterectomy

by Midnight Demon, posted in blogging, Chronic pain, chronic physical pain, CRPS, depression, mood disorders, sports, transgender

Just about eight weeks post op hysterectomy

I am just about eight weeks post op (tomorrow will officially mark the eighth week) and today was the first full active day I have had. I woke up and got up before eight this morning. I made myself an egg and had a cup of tea as I wanted tea. My friend sent it from England as a recovery gift. It was good tea. A little later I had a cup of coffee with the last of my creamer. My groceries arrived in the afternoon so I was going up and down stairs a lot. Then I went to the bank to deposit money so I wasn’t in the red anymore. I had to borrow money from my mother. I just hope I can pay her back when I get paid.

I came home and I was out of breath. It took me several minutes to catch it and relax. I was sweating the whole time I was bringing the groceries up the stairs and I was sweating again when I came home. I had stopped at the pharmacy before coming home to pick up my meds and that little fucking hill I have to walk up plus going up two flights of stairs with two bags of Gatorade bottles was too much for me. I had my appointment with my psychiatrist and luckily I was normally breathing by the time he logged on.

I told him I was depressed and he could see that I was. He offered some trans support website which I sent out to. There was another one which I tried to email but for some reason I was unable to copy the email address from Zoom. I had to write it down. I am not sure I am going to email this person because they are far from me and I don’t have a car to get there should they meet in person. Plus insurance is a factor as well. I rather go to a free group than have it be a therapeutic one which I have to pay for. I told him about the increase in Pristiq and he said that by the time we see each other next (in Nov), he hopes the med will provide me some relief of the depression. I told him about my B&B issues making me a hermit in the house. I just don’t feel comfortable using public restrooms to cath. I still have to go to the lab to give a urine sample to make sure I don’t have an infection. I have been having some bladder pain lately and even though my urine is clear, I want to make sure it really is.

I called uro today to schedule the appointment for the testing but the doc didn’t “order” the test that they could see so I have to wait for the medical assistant to call me. I was hoping to hear back from her this afternoon but nope, no calls. Tomorrow I have an early dentist appointment and plan to go to the hosp afterwards to drop off the urine sample. I just hope I wake up like I did today or the appointment might be missed. I have to leave a half hour before the appointment because I will be going uphill and I know I will be short of breath. I want to be sure I am breathing close to normal when I go to the office.

I am making a chicken pot pie for dinner. Tomorrow I might make a small marinara sauce so I can have spaghetti and meatballs. I hid my spaghetti so no one will eat it. Every time I want a particular pasta it seems to be gone as my nephew eats pasta all the time.

I had Starbucks while out so I am caffeinated for tonight’s ballgame. The stomach tightening has already begun with the stupid stat predictions and shit. If we can get to the starting pitcher early, we might have a chance to win. But our pitcher has to be nasty Nate or we will be in trouble. It is a win or go home kind of game so if we lose, we are done. Baseball season is over for me, at least with the Sox. It will continue with the winner of the game.

I think I did too much with the bags I had to carry. 45 bottles of Gatorade and 10 gallons of water I had to bring up the stairs. I am not supposed to be lifting anything over 10lbs at least for another four weeks. I am considered healed though as I am at the eight week mark. I wish my bladder was in better condition than what it is. I really hope the urodynamic testing gives me some answers that are favorable. Even if it shows that I don’t have to cath every time, I still have to cath for residual as I am not emptying my bladder when I void. I don’t know how going to a trans support group would be helpful with my medical issues but maybe having just someone that understands the dysphoria will help.

It’s going to be a long, sad week

by Midnight Demon, posted in baseball, Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, mental disorders, mental illness, mood disorders, psychosis, sports

It’s going to be a long sad week

The All Star Game is this week, which means there won’t be regular baseball games, at all. My team won’t be playing again till Friday. I hate this week because I love baseball so much. I don’t know what I am going to do in the evenings. Tomorrow is the game. I will probably watch some of it. There are five Sox players on the team. Originally, there was supposed to be six but a player got hurt. He will be out for the next six weeks or so.

I have been sleeping most of the morning, despite my damn phone going off. I had like 4-5 people call me, which is kind of unheard of as my phone never rings. I didn’t recognize the numbers so I just let them go to voicemail. No one left me a message so it must not have been an important phone call.

I got up around 1400 to make coffee. I am not really hungry, though I had some watermelon and half a cookie. After I finish my coffee, I might make something to eat. I am thinking scrambled eggs with cheese. I haven’t had that in a long time. I usually just make boiled eggs but I am not feeling like making that today.

It’s warm today and muggy. I have the AC going to cool down my room. I don’t think I will be going out today. I have to go out tomorrow as I have an appointment with my NP for my pain management. I was supposed to see her Friday but she will be leaving Boston so I see her tomorrow. I hope it’s not permanently. I really like her.

I am feeling kind of anxious. I don’t know why. It could be the coffee. I haven’t taken my dose of trilafon yet. I’m waiting for the coffee to wake me up a little bit. I don’t know why I have been so drowsy the last few days. It is unusual for me to sleep all morning. I guess I am wicked tired. Last night, I was struggling to stay awake. Then when I went to lie down, I woke up. Pissed me off. When I got up, I read some more Harry Potter. I have about 10 chapters left. I figure if I read 2-3 chapters a day, I might finish this week. I know it sounds easier written than done but it’s what I am hoping. This book has been on my list since February. Once I finish it, I plan on moving on to “A Cuckcoo’s Calling”. It’s another book written by JK Rowling but under her Pen Name. She has three books in this series, if I like the book, I will buy the other two.

Once I finish Harry, I plan on digging out Alexander Hamilton’s book. That is a book I started a few years ago. I kind of got busy as I dropped it and never picked it back up. It is a very dense book and kind of hard to read. You really need to pay attention to what you are reading as it’s very easy to lose your place. It is interesting. I think I left off with Alexander’s early adulthood in St. Croix. I could be wrong as it’s been a long while since I looked at the book. The author doesn’t leave much to stop in the chapters. It just rattles on and on. I hate books like that.

Seeing as my evenings will be free for most of the week, I guess I can fill it with reading time. I still have the psychology book that I started. That book is reserved for Starbucks reading though. I feel like a student when I read that book at the coffee shop. It’s also a big book so it will take me the summer to read it. I am hoping to read more of it while my therapist is on vacation next month. It will be a good distraction.